Utcumque ferculum, eximii et bene noti saporis, appositum fuerit, fiat autopsia convivae; et nisi facies ejus ac oculi vertantur ad acstasism, notetus ut indignus.
This has been translated by the sworn translator of the grand council as follows: Whenever a dish of distinguished and well-known savor is served, the host will serve his guests attentively, and will condemn as unworthy all those whose faces do not express their rapture.
-Brillat-Savarin's The Physiology of TasteBut, the impatient reader may exclaim, how can one possibly assemble, in this year of grace 1825, a meal which will meet all the conditions necessary to attain the ultimate in the pleasures of the table?
I am about to answer that question. Draw near, Reader, and pay heed: it is Gasterea, the loveliest of the muses, who inspired me; I shall speak more clearly than an oracle, and my precepts will live throughout the centuries.
“Let the number of guests be no more than twelve, so that conversation may always remain general;
“Let them be so chosen that their professions will be varied, their tastes analogous, and that there be such points of contact that the odious formality of introductions will not be needed;
“Let the dinning room be more than amply lighted, the linen of dazzling cleanliness, and the temperature maintained at from sixty to sixty-eight degrees Fahrenheit;
“Let the gentlemen be witty without pretension, and the ladies charming without too much coquetry;
“Let the dishes be of exquisite quality, but limited in their number, and the wines of the first rank also, each according to its degree;
“Let the progression of the former be from the most substantial to the lightest, and of the latter from the simplest wines to the headiest;
“Let the tempo of eating be moderate, the dinner being the last affair of the day: the guests should behave like travelers who must arrive together at the same destination;
“Let the coffee be piping hot, and the liqueurs of the host’s especial choice;
“Let the drawing room which awaits the diners be large enough to hold a card table for those who cannot do without it, with enough space left for after-dinner
conversations;
“Let the guests be disciplined by the restraints of polite society and animated by the hope that the evening will not pass without its rewarding pleasures;
“Let the tea be not too strong, the toast artfully buttered, and the punch made with care;
“Let the leavetakings not begin before eleven o’clock, but by midnight let every guest be home and abed.”
If anyone has attended a party combining all these virtues, he can boast that he has known perfection, and for each of them which has been forgotten or ignored he will have experienced the less delight.
The three Gastrinauts may invite three guests each for total of twelve so the number dining is not too taxing on the pocketbook of the head Gastrinaut nor on the quality of the food prepared. The guests shall be called Gastricolites. Each Gastricolite is required to bring one bottle of wine, as specified by the head Gastrinaut of the night. Those who do not comply will be reprimanded and expelled from the feast and all future feasts and banquets with no chance for redemption. All Gastricolites will be informed that it is their duty to adhere to the Dress Code. Those who do not will be humiliated and expelled. The two assisting Gastrinauts are responsible for champagne before the feast and alcoholic libations for the events following the feast. Before the feast commences, one of the Gastrinauts will read to the Gastricolites from the ancient tome of their forefathers, The Gastrinomicon. The two assisting Gastrinauts will begin serving the food. Dinner begins.....
