On Some Qualities of the Gastrinauts

It is reported (by Graham Robertson in LIFE WAS WORTH LIVING) that James A. Whistler once said in his customarily iconoclastic way, "I don't why people make such a to-do about choosing a new cook. There is only one thing that is absolutely essential. I always ask at once, 'Do you drink?', and if she says 'No!' I bow politely and say that I am very sorry I fear she will not suit. All good cooks drink."

If Whistler meant that all good cooks drink to excess, his quip is only superficially amusing, and is part of the grim picture drawn by statistics which show that in many great prisons there are more cooks than there are representatives of any other one profession. Most cooks, it would seem, are misunderstood wretches, ill-housed, dyspeptic, with aching broken arches. They turn more eagerly than any other artists to the bottle, the needle, and more vicious pleasures; they grow irritable; finally they seize upon the nearest weapon, which if they are worth their salt is a long knife kept sharp as lightening . . . and they are in San Quentin.

On the other hand, some of the best cups I have ever downed were in the company of good cooks, men (and a few women) who were peaceful and self-assured, confident that they were artists among their sincere admirers.


-M.F.K. Fisher

Gastricolium III

Dear Invitees of Gastricolium III,

We are entering the weekend of our third Gastricolium. We are all slightly shaken by this week as Cesar had to get a year older and for some reason this meant everyone had to try to kill themselves with tequila. One young lady got so drunk that she popped a blood vessel in her eye while puking. I wont say who she is because it was also her birthday, and she is getting married in a year. Kevin was wise to stay home.
But we, the Gastronauts, are undeterred. Cesar is older and, therefore, better looking than ever. Kevin is more virile and potent. I have taken 5000% of the USRDA of vitamin C and will soon begin brining the fish. Prepare for tomorrow.

Come to #### Duval St at 7:00 PM. Bring wine and pray to Gastrea.

Love,

Dylan

On Gastricolite's Reaction

Utcumque ferculum, eximii et bene noti saporis, appositum fuerit, fiat autopsia convivae; et nisi facies ejus ac oculi vertantur ad acstasism, notetus ut indignus.

This has been translated by the sworn translator of the grand council as follows: Whenever a dish of distinguished and well-known savor is served, the host will serve his guests attentively, and will condemn as unworthy all those whose faces do not express their rapture.

-Brillat-Savarin

Vatel - Movie Review

Vatel

This excellent production focuses on the kitchen drama around entertaining Louis XIV with a "small feast" on the country side. To please the Sun King, the steward Vatel is determined to provide a week long festival with the most exquisite dishes. Love, death and unicorn meat are all featured on this highly recommended film.

On Gourmandism

Gourmandism is an impassioned, considered, and habitual preference for whatever pleases the taste. [...] it deserves praise and encouragement. Physically, it is the result as well as the proof of the perfect state of health of our digestive organs. Morally, it is an implicit obedience of the rules of the Creator, who, having ordered us to eat in order to live, invite us to do so with appetite, encourages us with flavor, and rewards us with pleasure.

-Brillat-Savarin

The Gastrosexual: Dessert

I learned to spell dessert, as opposed to desert, by the mnemonic, “Which would you want more of, dessert or desert?” You want more dessert of course, and thus we remember that dessert has more esses than desert. But this philosophy of dessert is wrong.

Dessert should be modest and discrete. Dessert should be of the highest quality but should never undermine the meal. Similarly in lovemaking, the post coital dessert should be relaxed and unpretentious. Even so the eater or the lovemaker would be remiss to forget dessert.

Take time after the main course to breathe in the fading smells of the dinner. There may not be too much to say at this moment and digestion is peaking. The blood is no longer in your brain because much has been devoted to your stomach and loins. Enjoy these moments and let your mind return before eating dessert.

Once thoughts are able to roost in your mind again it is time for dessert. The swimming ecstasy of the main event is passed. Cuddle with your lover and feel the touch of each other’s nakedness without the mind wrenching need to fuck. Dessert will bring flavors to the palate without the distraction of hunger. It is time to enjoy the bitterness of coffee, the tartness of limes, the pungency of cheese and the sweetness of flan.

Dessert marks the end of the meal. No needs are left and the cerebral experience of taste and touch finalize the evening.

Menu for Gastricolium III

Fall French Revue, Texas Style

start: Salmon mousse

soup: Garlic soup

main: Six times sauced, smoked fish

salad: Blanched lettuce salad

end: Assorted cheese


The wine for this meal should begin light and become darker and redder throughout the meal, finishing with a deep red that can withstand the assault of pungent cheeses. Ask the guys at Vino Vino if you don't have something already in mind. They have unique bottles and are quite knowledgeable.

We will break down the bottles as follows:

Kevin's guests will buy for the start: Chardonnay or some complex white, not sweet.

Cesar's guests will buy for the main: Pinot Noir or Pinot Grigio, a delicate red or robust white. No oak. This is very important, as the wood in the smoked fish and the wood in the wine will do battle in your mouth, the results of which will be dire and devastating.

Dylan's guests will buy for the cheese: Big and red.

Love,
Dylan

On the Benefits of Fish

"Analytical gastronomy has long tried to determine what effects a fish diet has on animal economy and the opinion is unanimous that they are strongly sexual and awaken in both sexes the instinct of reproduction. "

-Brillat-Savarin, p. 91, The Physiology of Taste

Toast of Gastricolium II

"And potent champagne, which acts best when served by beauty, has not been left behind; everyone sits down on the green grass and eats, and the corks fly; we chat, we laugh, we joke in complete liberty, for the world is our dining room and the sun itself is our light. And what is more, appetite, that heaven-sent emanation, gives to this feast a liveliness unknown to tight-shut rooms, no matter how beautifully adorned they may be."

-Brillat-Savarin

The Gastrosexual

Food can have the psychic jackhammer effect of slippery, hot sex, or the painful boredom of a dry jack. At Gastricolium we apply the basic principles of primal enjoyment to eating. Lessons from sex must be used in eating and lessons from the dining room table should be used in the bedroom.

It is no coincidence or cute literary device that eating and fucking are related. Both experiences can bring primal joy. We eat to survive so that we may fuck and make baby eating machines who will grow into full sized fucking machines and send off our DNA packets, on towards evolutionary oblivion. But we don’t have to approach sex and eating like monkeys, at least not all the time.

The joy from sex and food are fleeting. I can eat and fuck all day long, but tomorrow I will be hungry and horny.

In eating and sex it is best to take your time. A rushed meal will not bring nearly the enjoyment of a slow and varied meal. Start with an appetizer, the foreplay of eating. A little soup after that is a nice way to whet the palate. Eat the salad and have a break. Flirt and talk, the main course is coming. Return to the table and pour another glass of wine. The conversation has peaked and the odors of the main course fill the room. Dining commences. Some will dive headlong into the final meat, while others deliberately and slowly savor the dish to its end. Dinner is over and if everything was done well, satisfaction is assured.

May you all have fine ingredients, meticulous preparation and an adventurous spirit!

Crawfish Bisque

Crawfish Bisque, the second course, as it first appeared in Gastricolium II.


Shellfish Stock

Place the shells from 3 lbs. of shrimp (or other availble crustacean) into a stock pot along with 2 or 3 chopped carrots, 3 chopped ribs of celery, 4 or 5 smashed cloves of garlic, a bouquet of parsely stems, thyme, and bay leaf. Cover with water and add salt and pepper. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes. Remove from heat and strain the solids, reserving both the liquid and shells separately. Return stock to heat and continue to reduce until a nice aroma and flavor develop.




Bisque

In a stock pot, heat clarified butter, then add the reserved shells. Saute for several minutes, constantly stirring. Add finely chopped yellow onion, celery, scallions and saute 8 to 10 minutes. Add salt and pepper and cayenne. Next add chopped parsley and thyme and saute for an additional 3 to 4 minutes, followed by minced garlic for an additional minute. Add flour to the mixture, constantly stirring for several minutes until it is thickened and there are no lumps. Once it is smooth, add the reserved stock and stir thoroughly to fully incorporate. Using an immersion blender, begin to puree the vegetables and shrimp shells. This must be done in shifts, with the soup being stirred in between and the blade of the immersion blender being cleaned and shells untangled from it. Blend until solids are pulverized. Season with salt and pepper and more cayenne. Add white wine, approximately a whole bottle. Bring up to a boil, then reduce heat and let simmer for at least 30 minutes, stirring frequently. Make sure the alcohol cooks off. Once a good aroma and flavor develop, remove from heat to strain. At this stage the bisque has been done correctly if its color is an brownish-orange in appearance and the aroma makes it unbearable for you not to taste your work. The taste should bring you to your knees. Strain the soup through a sieve and return to a low flame to keep warm.

Meanwhile, in a separate pan, saute 3 lbs. of peeled crawfish tails in clarified butter. Make sure the tails are washed, but try to not to clean off too much of the yellow fat. You will want to include this with the tails for extra flavor. Once thoroughly heated, slide the tails into the bisque and stir to mix. Allow the soup to cook for an additional 15 minutes over low heat, stirring frequently for the flavors to mix. Serve into soup cups or mugs and enjoy.

A visual document of Gastricolium II

The Gastrinauts would like to thank all the Gastricolites for making Gastricolium II such a great event.

Fish was butchered.

And brothed.
Shrimp was peeled.
And vegetables cooked.
Brillat-Savarin was read.
Wines served.

Toasts toasted.

And food was served.

Please post your comments, reactions or suggestions to Gastriculium II.
Stay tunned for Gastricolium III, where new artistic expressions will find their way into delighted stomachs.

Tostones with Mango Pico de Gallo

Tostones with Mango Pico de Gallo appetizer, as seen in Gastricolium I.

Tostones

Wash 3 or 4 green plantains (very very green!!!). Peel and cut into cylinders of about 1" height. Deep fry until golden. Use a plate to smash the cylinder into disks. Prepare some salt water with crushed garlic. Dip the disks into the garlic water, and deep fry again until golden. Serve while still hot.

Mango Pico de Gallo

Chop 3 mangos, one purple onion, 6 leaves of recao (culantro), and 3 jalapeños. Add salt and pepper to taste. Mix. To be used as dip for the tostones.

Inivitation to Gastricolium II - Saturday 13th, 2007

Gastricolium II - A Feast of Crustaceans


7pm Saturday, October 13th, 2007
Kevin's house.


Menu:


Inspiration was drawn from the food and culture of the greatest city on the Gulf Coast. Crustaceans are featured at the forefront in several of these dishes, though we will also see the appearance of pompano, pecans, chicory, alcohol, and flame.




1. Crab Cakes with Remoulade Sauce
2. Crawfish Bisque
3. Pecan-Encrusted Mozzarella with Greens and Onion Marmalade
4. Pompano en Papillote - pompano cooked in a sauce with various shellfish
5. Cafe Brulot Diabolique and Key Lime Pie


So that the guest is aware:

Each guest is asked to bring one bottle of wine that pairs well with the food. When pairing wines with Creole cuisine, it is common to choose sweeter wines due to the misconception this cuisine is hot and spicy. This is because many food lovers confuse that which is Creole with Cajun, its country cousin from southeastern Louisiana. Please permit a brief digression. Creole is most decidedly classical, not rustic, and urban, not rural. While Cajun food is an adaptation of French provincial cooking, Creole is blend of traditions that could only arise from the mixing of European, African, Caribbean, and American culinary cultures found in New Orleans over the past 300 years. At the foundations of a Creole feast are these things: the permeating influence of the city's classical French heritage, the fruits de mer that make southern Louisiana the most biologically diverse coastline in the continental US, and the Creole chef's propensity for showmanship both with flavor and presentation. That being said, tell your local wine-seller about the menu to elicit a wine recommendation, or if you decide to trust me, take my suggestion.

Wine Suggestions: Chardonnay (not too sweet, this goes famously with both crab and fish), Pinot Noir (delicate enough not to obstruct flavor, red enough to have some flavor), Zinfandel or Primitivo (pairs with almost anything with frightening success).

Dress Code will be strictly enforced.

Please read below for clarification of the rules.


Respectfully,

your neighbor, the goat.

A visual document of Gastricolium I

We, the Gastrinauts, thank all the Gastricolites for making Gasticolium I a success. Here are selected pictures of the event.
First, we went to several markets, including two farmer markets, to look for the best ingredients.

We toasted in honor of Gastraea, to declare the cooking officially started.
Food was prepared with care.
And we read a passage out of Brillat-Savarin's book.
Drinks were served.
And people feasted.
Please post your comments, reactions or suggestions to Gastriculium I.

Stay tunned for Gastricolium II, where we will continue pushing the artistic expression of dinner-club cuisine.

The Saucier's Reasoning

We must consider as leading sauces the espangnole, veloute, allemande, and bechamel, because with these four sauces we can compose a very great number of small sauces, of which the seasoning differs infinitely. . . .
It is in following this reasoning that I have, I dare say, created an infinite number of new things of which my books carry the indelible mark; and in order to obtain the same results, all that is necessary is a little good sense, and occupying oneself without relaxation in the progress of the science which one professes.

-Marie-Antoine Careme in his Art of French Cooking in the 19th Century.

The Roux

The assistant of the stock, the roux, brings to the brown sauce only a flavor note of little importance, beyond its thickening principle, and it has the disadvantage of requiring, in order that the sauce be perfect, an almost absolute elimination of its components. Only the starchy principle remains in a sauce properly skimmed. Indeed, if the element is absolutely necessary to give mellowness and velvetiness to the sauce, it is much simpler to give it pure, which permits one to bring it to the point in as little time as possible, and to avoid a too prolonged sojourn on the fire. It is therefore infinitely probable that before long starch, fecula, or arrowroot obtained in a state of absolute purity will replace flour in the roux.

-From Auguste Escoffier's Guide Culinaire.

An obscure reference to the temperamental benefits of cabbage

Why is it that to those who are very drunk everything seems to revolve in a circle...?
Why is it that to those who are drunk one thing at which they are looking sometimes appears to be many?
Why is it that those who are drunk are incapable of having sexual intercourse?
Why is it that wine which is mixed but tends toward the unmixed causes a worse headache the next morning than entirely unmixed wine?
Why has wine the effect both of stupefying and of driving to a frenzy those who drink it?
Why is it that cabbage stops the ill effect of drinking?
Why are the drunken more easily moved to tears?
Why is it that the tongue of those who are drunk stumbles?
Why is it that oil is beneficial against drunkenness and sipping it enables one to continue drinking?

-From the Problemata, a work traditionally ascribed to Aristotle, the third Book of which is concerned entirely with drinking and drunkenness.

The Hangover

Then there is the matter of the hangover. The folk remedies for this affliction are many and ancient. In medieval times, the medical School of Salerno was already recommending the hair of the dog.

Si nocturna tibi noceat potatio vini,
Hoc tu mane bibas iterum, et fuerti medicina.

If an evening of wine does you in,
More the next morning will be medicine.

The insidious logic of this remedy is simple. The hangover is in part a mild withdrawal syndrome: the night before, the body adjusted to a high concentration of alcohol throughout its tissues, but by morning the drug is going or gone. Hypersensitivity to sound and light, for example, may be a left-over compensation for the general depression of the nervous system. The higher the peak blood alcohol level reached, and the longer that the peak is maintained, the more drastic the effects on the body, the stronger the compensation, and the more pronounced the aftereffects. Having another drink, then, restores the conditions to which the body had become accustomed, as well as lightly anesthetizing it. But this only postpones the hours of reckoning, and if repeated may eventually lead to alcoholism and the necessity of suffering a true drug withdrawal.

-Harold McGee's On Food and Cooking: The Science and Lore of the Kitchen